SHINING LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

When my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer, I had no idea how lonely it would feel.

Please don't stop reading. Please stay with me.

It was really strange because I knew I wasn’t alone and yet it felt that way more often than not. I'll admit that I didn't really have much of a social life. I'd also been dealing with depression and mood disorder for many years. I had probably chased others away, so I'm sure it was particularly difficult for them to get close when she got sick. 

But, as lonely as I thought I was with depression (because I couldn't always handle friendships), it was greatly intensified as soon as we announced she was sick. I kept telling myself that the loneliness was all in my head, but then things would happen where I was extending myself so far for real connection and it became so clear in so many moments that others were afraid to get close. I'm sure they didn't think that's what they were doing, but I could sense it pretty strong. 

Even still, I was so desperate for that closeness, that I didn't let myself acknowledge very often that my friends & acquaintances mostly pitied me and also cringed at much interaction with me because of what I was carrying. It was too heavy for them. It wasn't like when the only issue was that I had "just" mental illness and could get people in my space with some effort. It was like I was chasing people and they were telling me they are there for me while they are emotionally sprinting away from me. I couldn't keep up, so I'd slow down or stop and just blame it on anything about myself- my social awkwardness, my intensity, my overbearing opinions (even if I kept them to myself- I promise I have once or twice) or just that I'd gotten a bit chubby. It did take a little bit for it to sink in just how much others pull away- how much of it wasn't really me. How magically busy everyone is all the sudden. I'm sure they were busy- but life is always busy. That's why we prioritize. As far as spending time with me, that was pretty dang low on the priority lists of those I yearned to have in my space. People can be quite generous with their money & distant support, but very withholding of their time and emotion.

Before you stop reading out of guilt, please know that this isn’t meant to shame anyone. I know what it is like to pull away. Before I knew this trial, most of the time, I didn’t realize what was happening was me pulling away from others going through heavy things too. 

You see, before my daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer, I had a dear friend as well as my older sister go through the same thing. Crazy, right?! My niece actually got the same type of brain cancer, even. In fact, I believe that her and my sister and brother-in-law going through that helped us in so many ways- but it also made me repent for having let myself off the hook so many times. I thought that just because she lived on the other side of the country and I had my own kids, significant financial and health struggles (including the depression) that somehow I wasn’t able to help more. But, really, I knew that was a lie. I knew that I could have called more, reached out more, done more. Sent care packages, done video chats, etc., etc. We’re actually incredibly spoiled nowadays. You can insert yourself in other people’s lives more readily from pretty much anywhere on the planet and yet we are more disconnected as a society than we’ve probably ever been.

Why?! Why do we do that to ourselves and each other? Are we saving ourselves anything? Not really. Why are we so afraid to of the nitty gritty of deep relationships? Or is it merely awkwardness we avoid? No. That can’t be it. I mean, we’re all on social media and if we are being totally honest- social media is incredibly awkward. We’re definitely okay with awkward. I would argue that if you’ve never been awkward on social media, you are probably not really on social media. But I’m sure you still have awkwardness a plenty in your social experience and even in your close relationships. It’s something else. I don’t know what exactly, but I feel like it’s a trick. A really cruel trick being played on all of us. After all, I deeply believe that we are all so much more connected than we are consciously aware of on this planet. So much more. More than even many religions will tell you. We’re brothers and sisters, but think about that- we come from the same heritage. I don’t know if I’m conveying the intensity of my thought. There is a lot of intensity I feel that I’m not sure how to convey, but I suspect that those of you that took the time to read this and have the courage to connect with me at least through this will figure out some of that intensity. Perhaps that’s what we run from- intensity. Intense feelings and experiences. Which is why I’m going to ask you to be willing to let go of that hesitation and fear for a few moments here.

I’m sitting on my couch right now in the early morning, pumping for my new baby that struggles to nurse effectively. I woke up because my grief wouldn’t let me sleep. It has been seriously nagging me for many days. I don’t know why, but it can be hard to let myself cry. I don’t think it is from a macho mentality or anything. I just get tired and lazy and console myself more than I probably should. But the damn finally burst and I can no longer hold it in. This happens often, as you can probably imagine, since my daughter passed away over 4 months ago. The crying, damn bursting thing actually started after she was diagnosed, but is more intense now- for obvious reasons.

Here’s where it will start to get intense because I’m going to now say her name- Rachel. Rachel would be 4 years and 4 months old today (the day I originally wrote this). The number 22 seems to both haunt and bless our family. My niece- the one that also had the same brain cancer- her birthday is the 22nd of the month as well. Out of 15 grandkids (so far), the 2 that have dealt with the beast were the only ones in the family with birthdays on the 22nd. They also both had surgery to remove those tumors on the 23rd. There is a long list of strange parallels and I won’t dive into it because that’s the purpose of this post. I’m not as interested with sharing the factual, weird and likely meaningless details. I want you to know Rachel and me and how my angel has affected me. Because there is so much beauty in it. Beauty so unexpected and amazing that it must be shared. Are you ready to be smitten and fall in love with a sweet angel whose brief time on this planet has already come and gone? Are you okay being that vulnerable? Because while it will strike fear somewhere in you to do so (even if you don’t let yourself recognize that fear), that vulnerability can transform you in amazing ways.

In the scriptures, we are told to mourn with those that mourn. It seems like the obvious reason for that is to comfort those that mourn, but I believe it actually serves a bigger purpose than that. I believe it is there to refine us, humble us (gently) and make us vulnerable- but in a way that is sacred and protected. Not all vulnerability is dangerous to us. Lying flat in the middle of the road- dangerous vulnerability. Having your heart so open that you feel someone else’s pain so that you can not only comfort them but live their experience somewhat- safe vulnerability. Why? Because angels will attend you. Those same angels that are working to comfort your grieving friend or family member are there for you too. Why? Because they have the most beautiful message to share, but your heart has to be REALLY open to receive it. How open? Open enough for tears to fall out. Open enough for you to feel the heaviness of your friend’s grief. Open enough that it can’t not change you. Because that’s how big the message and blessing is that those angels have to offer. And it isn’t weird or wrong for you to feel it that deeply. You aren’t stealing your friend’s thunder or overshadowing their grief- you’re just experiencing it with them. Guess what else you get to experience with them? The laughter, joy and love they feel. Because if they loved someone deeply enough to be grieving over them- there’s quite a bit of potent love there with it.

I have SO MUCH to share with you. Abide with me and let your heart open to feel it. You won’t regret it. Soon, you’ll look for other similar opportunities and you’ll reach out to more people going through similar things. The experiences will exercise and strengthen your soul. We could all use that- particularly for what lies ahead.

Maybe you are dealing with grief as well. Most people are. Maybe the world has made you scared to feel it fully. Let go of that fear. Don’t hold back.

Cry with me, mourn with me, laugh with me and I know you’ll also feel the joy and peace I feel. 

All the pain, all the grief, all the aching- it is so worth the peace and love and joy! Rachel couldn’t live long enough for you to know her like I do. But she still wants you to know her. She knows things we don’t- beautiful things. She also hopes that you’ll help take her family’s loneliness away. Don’t let fear and distractions keep you away. You don’t have to know the perfect thing to say or think or feel. Just be willing to abide with us, to get closer. Because the distance from everyone is just not the kind of pain I can handle any longer.

Fear Is A Comfort Zone

Fear is a comfort zone. How do I know this? Well, for one, faith is wildly uncomfortable. Think about it. Acting out of faith is unpredictable and requires an immense amount of grace. What is the opposite of faith? I like to think it is fear. I'm open to technicalities that would prove me inaccurate, but they probably wouldn't prove me very far off base.

For reasons I can't explain at this time, there are a lot of things about my current life situation that have helped me to understand the principle of faith and the comfort zone that is fear. The natural man is very akin to acting out of fear- to be in survival mode. But this life isn't about survival because none of us get out of it "alive" anyway. We all must pass through death and so endlessly dodging it for the sake of dodging it is just ridiculous. Really, survival is practically heresy, when you think about it. Now, I don't believe that God wants us to just lie down and let the train flatten us as soon as we hear the horn, but I also don't think He wants us to sabotage the tracks and derail the train for the sake of saving ourselves (which, if the train is close enough to hear- you'll probably die before you can completely sabotage the tracks- just get out of the WAY!)

This is often the message- get out of the WAY! I am still very much learning this. Perhaps writing about it will help it sink in more. It is a tricky balance learning how much to act and how much to allow God to work in His own time and in His own way. I know that I am not supposed to be idle, so it is about prioritizing. For me, that means checking in (with Him) quite often. I think that sometimes we become afraid (see, there's the dangerous comfort zone of fear again) of pestering God too much, but He can't be pestered unless we are just choosing to not listen or accept His answers for us. And in that case, I'm sure He is ok with us continually asking for Him to send comfort and peace in the answers we've received. It seems that a lot of the trick is remembering. Remembering how we feel when we pray, remembering to obey promptings immediately, remembering that He is control and when we are listening to His spirit closely He does send peace.

Now, I know that we are not to be commanded in all things, but I do not think there is anything wrong with being guided in all things. Heaven knows that I am so far out of practice from those times in my life that I was better at feeling guided each moment by His spirit, but I feel myself inching closer to that and to things beyond it. Sometimes I get impatient with the whole process and think I am supposed to pick it up really quick like riding a bike again, but then, as I kneel for guidance, His gentle reassurance lets me know that it is okay if I stumble and trip- so long as I continually reach my hand up for His. I can turn my heart to Him every time I falter. His approval and His peace are the only real comforts I need. I'm stepping out of the dangerous comfort zone of fear. For now, it can often be incredibly uncomfortable and even painful at times, but I know that faith is the path back to Him- and the two (fear and faith) do not exist in the same space.

WHY I EAT TRADITIONAL FOODS

     When I became pregnant with my third child (Rachel) in September 2011, I was on pharmaceutical medication for depression, bipolar disorder and ADD. I have struggled with symptoms of these illnesses pretty much my entire life. I have also struggled with chronic UTI's (Urinary Tract Infections), especially since getting married and having children.
        During the early weeks of my pregnancy, I experienced such strong fatigue that I was sleeping 18-20 hours a day. Now, I know you might be thinking that maybe I was just letting myself sleep this much, but even when I tried my hardest to be awake I would end up having seizures and falling asleep again no matter where I was or what I was doing. Basically, I was not functioning well enough to even take care of myself (like eat enough, shower, change my clothes, etc.), let alone my two oldest children.

       It didn't take long for me to determine that things were unacceptable. While family and friends did what they could, there was not enough accessible help to deal with that much disfunction. Worst of all, I was too tired to take the time to explain to people what was going on. No one (besides us) really knew how bad things were, because the only time I would talk to or see people was when I was awake and feeling well. If you only saw someone and talked to them when they were feeling fine, you would not be able to determine truly how things were for them otherwise.
       I thought, at first, that maybe my body was just getting used to pregnancy again, but my fatigue and severe chronic pain kept causing too many issues. I should also mention that my meds had already contributed to my 60+ lbs of weight gain over the previous 4 years and in order to just keep my mood issues at bay I had to increase dosages and adjust my medication several times a year. Along with many other health issues that seemed to accompany the medications, I was still not in a place mentally or emotionally that I could maintain healthy relationships or deal with normal daily stressors. I also still felt a lot of the "guilt" that comes along with mental illness and had almost completely abandoned all good active spiritual practices such as personal prayer, scripture study and church attendance. I spent a good portion of my awake time trying to fix things. I finally realized that only God could give me the answers to my problems, so I prayed. Now, I don't mean to sound pious at all, I certainly had my moments where I cursed God (I do regret ever doing it, even though I never truly meant it), but I just mean to let you know that I do know that it was much through spiritual inspiration that I was led to traditional foods and living.
       The first step I was inspired to take was to get off of the medications. I know that most would say I should have done it under the supervision of a doctor, but I was inspired to specifically get off of the medication without the interference of a doctor. I will always stand by that because I know it was by the Spirit of God that I was instructed to do it that way. I started weaning myself a little by reducing the dose of one medication every few days. After the first couple days of a lower dose, I felt a bit better. It was obvious that my pregnant body was fatigued because the medication was a poison to it. Now, as a disclaimer, I am not suggesting that everyone on prescription medication should just quit taking their meds, I am only telling my story. Anyway, the prompting to just jump of all the medications completely came to me, but I doubted it and kept the slow weaning going. I went back to feeling just as terrible, so I prayed about the previous prompting to quit "cold turkey" and it was confirmed to me that it would be the best way. I was warned that it would not be easy and that I would go through a seemingly lengthy detox period, but I wanted and needed the fastest and healthiest way to get off of the medications that were creating more problems than they were solving.
      I would like to say that everything turned around really quickly and that I felt great and life just got better, but it didn't. My detox period (which lasted almost my entire pregnancy) was quite miserable and very difficult. However, it taught me to deal with my issues in a natural and healing way. I also realized how truly addicted I was to all of my medications. Although I had immediately and completely quit taking the ADD meds (which were narcotics) as soon as I learned I was pregnant, I still had cravings for them and the other meds throughout my pregnancy. In fact, some days, even when things are not so much of a struggle, I still crave certain of those medications (especially the ADD narcs). I used to be too ashamed to admit that I was addicted, but now I realize that it is not necessarily a sin to be addicted. It is however, wrong to give in to the addiction, which I did not and still do not do. I must also point out that while I was addicted to prescription medications, I never abused them. There is a big difference between the two-- addiction can cause one to abuse something. I took my medication according to my doctor's instructions, which is not abuse.
      The second step I took was to look for alternative methods of dealing with mental illness. I was a little at a loss at first, so I did what most people of my generation do-- I "Googled" it. I was led to www.alternativementalhealth.com. I encourage everyone to check it out. If you do not struggle with mental illness yourself, I am sure someone you know does (even if it is not "diagnosed"). I started reading the material available on and through this inspired site. A lot of it talked about nutritional issues like vitamin and mineral deficiencies often being the possible cause of mental illness. I suppose I always knew that had something to do with it, but it never made sense (or worked) for me to simply supplement with a pill. This provoked me to spend most of my time for the remainder of my pregnancy researching the matter.
     The third significant step came when we were driving somewhere and I was talking to Richard about how I thought it would be cool to raise livestock at some point. I suppose my interest in it mostly came from being very involved in FFA in high school. It always made sense to me that people should get more in touch with agriculture, since it is a strong foundation in agriculture that will bring abundance to any people or nation. We passed a field with a few cows in it, so the thought of a having a dairy cow jumped into my head. I got excited and curious and jumped onto some local classifieds on my phone to see how much a dairy cow would cost initially, but quickly found myself confused at which kind of dairy cow I would want. So, I did some research on dairy cows and came across the website www.realmilk.com. I read through quite a bit of their information because I found it intriguing. I was then led to the Weston A. Price Foundation (WAPF) website. I then became very passionate about learning all I could about the topics I frequently saw discussed on the WAPF site.
     Over the next few months, I spent several hours a day researching nutrition and health. I would pray each day that I would come across the most timely information for me and my family. We found a source for raw milk and began purchasing it and consuming it quite regularly. We have since converted pretty much entirely to a traditional diet and I have read most of Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon and some of Nutrition and Physical Degeneration by Dr. Weston A. Price.
    Our lives have only been getting better and my health has improved drastically. I could easily make a long list of issues that I previously dealt with daily as a struggle that I now either don't have to deal with anymore or I can more easily take them on as challenges. We get sick much less often, to a lesser degree (shorter illness, less suffering, etc.), and I have much more energy (without the use of strong energy drinks or other caffeine sources as I felt stuck using while on medications and eating modern foods).
     I strongly believe that anyone that dismisses the changes we have made in our home has never really tried them in their own for any length of time. A lot of people are not convinced that the types of changes we have made could or would be very relevant for themselves or their own families, but they are not the people that have done the tremendous research that I have done as a mother and eater. Our modern society has made us so far removed from our food that it is such an inconvenience to prepare and/or cook all our meals ourselves, so we let someone else do it. I am not saying that we should only ever eat food of our own making, but I am saying that we outsource too much of our lives. If we understood our food and learned to enjoy our food more, we would want to stay more connected to it and the preparation of it.
      My two biggest recommendations for any person that wants to even try to explore a whole new world of health, vitality and closeness with their family are:
1. Eat a 100% grass-fed steak. They taste AMAZING! AND they are way more nutritious! They also do not need hormones or anti-biotics to grow well and stay healthy, so the meat is a lot safer. We get ours at Utah Natural Meat, but I recommend that you look for a source near you if you live very far away from Salt Lake City, UT. Once you taste how great a grass-fed steak is, you will want to find out the awesome nutritional value of it. (Red meat and saturated fats are not bad for you!!! To say otherwise is to promote propaganda that stems from the companies that profit from you avoiding good, quality animal fats & protein.)
2. Do the research. Learn about your food. Even if you decide that you are just fine on the standard modern American diet (whichever version you currently subscribe to), you need to know that our food rights are in grave jeopardy. I believe that you have the right to eat at MacDonald's several times a week if you choose to eat that way, but I do not think that my access to nutrient-dense foods (such as raw milk) should be the cost of promoting big business interest. Raw milk is the most heavily regulated agricultural product after marijuana because the FDA and USDA like to claim that it is "inherently dangerous". Well, according to their own statistics, a person is 22,000 times more likely to get sick from any other food than they are from raw milk. This number does, in fact, take in to account that about only 3% of Americans currently drink raw milk, so it is not just about the fact that only a few people drink it. If they (government agencies) are trying to not only tell us what to feed ourselves and our families, but they are limiting our food choice with their policies-- we are in big trouble with all of our other human rights. I encourage you to not only watch the many enlightening food documentaries released in the last few years, but please take the time to read an article or two a week from the WAPF journals. Go ahead and question what they say and reference the studies they talk about. I have done this enough times to know that I can trust what they are talking about. You don't have to spend several hours a day on research as I did, but make it a point to educate yourself regularly about the issue of your health and nutrition.

    I really hope and pray that the information I put on my blog will make a difference in at least one person's life. I have no underlying motives to promote the kind of lifestyle that I live. I will always be open and honest about my choice to feed myself and my family food that I deem suitable for the miraculous temples that God has given us. I believe I have that right of stewardship for my family and I will do anything necessary to protect that God-given right and duty. Please post any comments or questions you have about what I have written. One day, I hope to finish writing and publish my book about my story and the reasons I believe in what I do. Take care and bon appetit!

LIVING FOODS

One of the biggest changes to my family's diet has been the addition of more living foods. In a lot of reading that I have done, I have found that the qualities of living foods are an essential part of human diet (if we hope to have and maintain good health for generations). In my quest to provide various types of living food, I have found many great resources. One of these resources is a company (called Cultures for Health) that distributes various types of living cultures from kefir grains to yoghurt cultures to kombucha cultures and sourdough starters. Below is a link to check out their many great products. I encourage everyone to seek out a way to put more live (and "enzymatic") food into their diet.

 http://www.culturesforhealth.com?a_aid=505d29d828299

FAVORITE FOODS

The question this week is:

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

It can be a complete entree or an ingredient that just makes everything you eat better. Mine is anything dairy-- especially raw milk and butter! Mmmmm! Nothing yummier than fresh milk, cream and butter from a grass-fed cow. Now you will hear me get on my soap box about raw milk, cream, butter and various other "taboo" foods, but give what I say a try and you'll be certain (as I am) that a lot of nutrition advice out there is very misguided. However, this week will be more about the taste, texture and comfort of food. So, let your mouth water and let's talk about TASTY! I am not just a nutrition fanatic-- I'm also a CULINARY ARTIST! While I would never advise anyone to eat a lot of carbs, I myself have a sweet tooth--- so don't be afraid to share your "food weaknesses". Everyone has them.

Please leave a comment below. (Even if all it says is "ice cream" or whatever your favorite food is.) I love hearing from you.

NO MORE STRESS- WE'RE MOVING ON!

        Ok, so we can only discuss stress so long before it becomes stressful. Since this is my blog and I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want--- I want to talk about food (and nutrition). The topic of food and nutrition have been a pretty big part of my life lately. I hope to make it a much bigger part of all of your lives. Some of you will learn things you never knew, some of you will be intrigued and do some of your own further research on the topic, some of you will skim the information and not think too much of it, and some of you will decide to disagree with me--- all of these are just fine. I am just hoping that you will bear with me as I stand on one of my "soap boxes" for a bit. I also do hope that you will open your mind to what I have to offer in this area. I may not have a degree in the field (yet, anyway), but if you knew how much research I have done on the subject you might petition for any reputable university to grant me a degree on the subject.
        Over the next several weeks (and possibly months) I will be putting up posts related to food and nutrition. Don't forget to check out the "Super Food" and "Super Funny" pages as well. I'd also love to hear feedback on what you like (and what you don't like) here on my blog. While I am not just doing this blog to please other people, I do want it to be pleasing enough that I can share it with many other people. Thanks so much for being a part of my world.

BEST STRESS RELIEF TIPS I'VE HEARD IN A WHILE-

I don't know how many of you are familiar with energy therapy or Carol Tuttle (a well known energy therapist), but I have been studying it a bit lately and it is what has worked the best for managing my bipolar and depression symptoms. We've done some gemstone therapy along with EFT and other energy techniques, but I just stumbled upon this clip (from Carol Tuttle) that has really helped me realize what I need to do more to properly relieve and effectively deal with stress on a regular basis. If you are not familiar with Carol's work, I highly recommend reading her book "Remembering Wholeness" first. Then I recommend moving onto her energy profiling materials. She actually offers a lot of free information and assistance, so many of you may be able to catch on to things without much (if any) of an initial investment. However, getting her books will help anyone a lot. I realize some of you may feel a little resistant to it at first, but give it a chance. I promise it isn't freaky like some people might be worried about. Anyway, I am either going to post the link or see if I can have a way for you to view the clip I mentioned right here on the page.

First, here is a link to check out Carol Tuttle products (which I highly recommend):

http://www.caroltuttle.com/cmd.asp?af=1490508

STRESS & FOOD

Ok, so today is another survey. I guess I am just a very curious person-- but that's a healthy stress. (I assume, anyway.) I love asking questions and I love when people take the time to answer them honestly. Thanks!

1. Do you eat more, less or the same when you are more stressed?

2. What foods are you most likely to eat when under stress?

3. Are there any foods that seem to relieve stress for you?

4. What foods might make you more stressed?

TOPIC OF THE WEEK: STRESS MANAGEMENT

After last week's final post, I decided to address the issue of stress management. Now, I don't necessarily intend to give a whole lot of advice in this area (I'm really not an expert, if you couldn't tell), but I feel it is an important issue to address. I am going to kick things off with a survey. Take a minute and post a comment in response with your answers numbered to correspond with the following questions:

1. On a scale from 1-10 (1 being "pretty much all good" and 10 being "mostly negative"), how would you rate most of the stress you have in your life?
2. How often do you take a vacation?
3. What do you usually do to relieve stress?
4. Do you think you deal with stress in a healthy way?

Thanks for checking this out. You are all awesome.

DISHWASHING TIPS

* Cutting knives stay sharp longer if you hand wash them.
* Wash your cast iron with salt. It keeps it seasoned, but is sanitary. You only need a teaspoon or two; simply moisten the pan, sprinkle on the salt, scrub, and rinse clean. If the pan is really dirty, you can also use baking soda.
* Add 1/2 to 1 cup of vinegar to your dishwasher to help rinse dishes. (I know a lot of people already know this, but I posted it for those that don't know about this yet. Doing this has helped a lot, especially with our glass dishes.)
* Instead of thoroughly rinsing your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, simply wash them twice (one wash immediately after the first). You will actually save water and time. Make sure that you have any heat dry setting off (so that your dishwasher doesn't dry the food permanently onto the dishes) and turn on the second cycle right after the final rinse on the first cycle. You only need soap for one of the cycles, but it may be a good idea to add a splash of vinegar to the other cycle. If some of your dishes still aren't clean, they are probably easier to just hand wash anyway. If a lot of your dishes do not get clean enough after two cycles, you need to fire your dishwasher-- it is making way too much work for you and costing you too much money. (After all, isn't a dishwasher useless if it doesn't wash the dishes for you?!) If you have to fire your dishwasher, but can't get a new one right away, use it as drying rack when you don't have time to towel dry.
* Cook burned food off a pan with vinegar. It is the same idea as using a wine reduction in cooking. The acid in the vinegar (or you can use cola) will help separate heavily burned food from a pan, especially when it is heated. Restaurants use vinegar to degrease by pouring vinegar on a hot griddle. However, I recommend a milder approach (due to the fumes, their method can make it hard to breath) by putting the vinegar in before heating.
* Let your little ones "prewash" the dishes! I have learned that when I wash the dishes by myself, it can take a while. This is especially true if the dishes have piled up at all or if anything has "crusties" on it. My kids are young enough that they still like to be helpful, but it used to stress me out to have them wash dishes because I felt it only made a mess and I had to "rewash" the dishes anyway. But, one day I realized that their "washing" was a great way to get the dishes rinsed off enough to make my turn easier. So, now I throw a towel or two on the floor, remove all the knives and easily broken dishes to a different corner of the kitchen, give each kid a sponge or scrubber of their choosing and let them have at it. It gives them great practice and makes it faster for when I get to "finishing" them.

Hope these tips help! Let me know what you think.